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Paul Walker Drives a Chick Crazy in ‘Vehicle 19’


I dated a girl who was obsessed with Paul Walker. I don’t get it but then again I sort of do. He’s a good-looking dude who doesn’t have a weird voice, he never says anything that would really creep a girl out or deeply offend her. There’s nothing ‘ugly’ about him. It’s like he was manufactured in a lab by an elite team of horny female scientists. I can picture them pouring test tubes labeled with ‘smile’, ‘eyes’, and ‘abs’ into a vat and pressing ‘create’ and cackling as his sculpted musculature and exfoliated skin forms.

I don’t know that many dudes are down with Paul Walker. Outside of the ‘Fast & Furious’ franchise, what has he done? I’m trying to think of a female equivalent and I’ve come to the conclusion that there isn’t one, there’s many. There are a lot of hot women out there that guys fawn over, but other than their looks, what do they have? That’s how I view Paul Walker. He’s a hot chick. When chicks watch him (and Channing Tatum to a certain extent) they just turn off their ears and drift off into fantasy land. So, for all the women who complain about men objectifying women – I give you Exhibit A. Try to argue and remain dry as you stare deep into his soul.

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