Neal Lynch

I think I’ve only used 2 pick up lines in my entire life – both of them sucked. “How much does a polar bear weigh?” and “You have a boyfriend? (No) You want one?” I’ve been trained via countless interviews with models that pick up lines don’t work, just say hi. Then I see / hear that girls hate boring intros and want someone to come in and impress them right off the bat… which… is a pick up line. This is why I drink like a fish.

Anyway, it took me a couple days to warm up to watching this because any time the number 100 is thrown around, it means I have to invest time. But this was well worth it. There were a bunch of throw-aways, but also a couple of gems. Out of the 100, I’d say 5-10 of the recipients laughed. NOT a good rate, but if you were to do this over the course of a week and 5-10 bit and maybe 1 of those made out with you… I guess that’s a win? You’d think that Aussie accent would land him at least 5-10 more.

I still don’t get girls that get pissed at pick up lines. I mean I do and I don’t. I understand if you’re having a sh*tty day – a legitimate sh*tty day, not like you broke a nail – and some bag of douche lays a line on ya, but wouldn’t that sort of cheer you up? The only girls that come up to me to start a conversation are jailbait. What’s up with that? Why do illegal beagles continue to court me? Because they know I can’t do anything about it. That’s f’d up. Handcuffs hurt.