It All Ends With ‘The Hangover Part III’ Trailer

It’s pretty much a given that Part II wasn’t as good as we all hoped. That’s not to say it was a total disappointment, but the carbon copy formula really bothered a lot of people. If you couldn’t tell that Alan (Zach’s character) SPOILER ALERT drugged them all (via marshmallow? come on) then you have an extended blackout-related hangover of your own to deal with or you’re a child. A genetically inferior child.

Anyway, they’re veering from the formula this time ’round and from the looks of this trailer, they pretty much nailed it. Is it just a given that the second installment of trilogies will forever suck and the third ‘episode’ will be the best?

This one brings the gang back together – including Heather Graham as Jade and Mike Epps as Black Doug – and adds John Goodman as the villain, Melissa McCarthy as a lollipop-licking desk clerk and Lela Loren as my future ex-wife.

Who’s Lela? A) She’s hot (not to say Mel Mc isn’t) and B) she was on ‘Lost’ and also C) she kinda looks like Olivia Munn. Double also, she sort of looks like the front desk clerk at Caesar’s Palace in the first flick.

For some reason, I can’t help but laugh every time they reveal Zach is the singer at the funeral. No offense to Ed, but Zach needs to be front and center. Turn up the Zach to maximum.

Here are my hopes:

• Heather Graham and Jamie Chung oil / jello wrestle
• John Goodman eats a baby
• Justin Bartha reveals he’s gay and his wife (Tracy) goes on an absolute bang binge
• Phil’s (Bradley Cooper) wife needs to show us why in the holy hell she’s married to Phil. Step it up. Show us something.
• Melissa McCarthy has more than just a cameo.
• Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) pops in and out, goes rogue, gets his own storyline (not missing for a huge chunk of the story)

Don’t we all think it’s about time an R-rated comedy won an Oscar? Come on, folks.

The film releases in theaters Memorial Day Weekend (ha, we don’t remember, remember?). That’s May 24th, two thousand and thirteen years in the year of our Lord Jesus Christ. Hail Satan.