Easter Candy Destroyed in Slow Motion For My Homey Juvenile

The broheims at Battle Damage prepped for Easter by destroying a basket of candy, painted eggs, and a giant chocolate bunny in slow motion. Slow motion for me, slow motion for me… Can you believe that song by Juvenile is now 11 years old? Hell, “Back That Thang Up” the penultimate grind-in-the-stank-frat-basement theme song – had the Quinceañera last year and the sweet 16 in 2015. Damn.

The past 11 years of Easter celebrations have seen me hungover and unable to rise again (blasphemy). I’d say the night before Easter can closely rival the night before Thanksgiving in terms of no-holds-barred Hulk Hogan vs. Tony Lister aka Tiny from Friday drinking. Just… Jesus is coming and I don’t know if I can handle it sober kinda drinking. I show up on Easter day to my family’s house and they’re just like, “we’re done worrying about you. You’re out of your element. We’re gonna hide you along with the eggs and no one will find you. No one wants to find you.”


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