Goodnight Westeros: A Game of Thrones Bedtime Story

This video from Mashable parodies the popular children’s book “Goodnight Moon“, a publication I haven’t been able to get around to reading. It’s called, “Goodnight #Westeros, a Game of Thrones Bedtime Story” and it’s oddly soothing despite the bloodshed and abject horror. No boobs, though. Major #fail.

I finally got around to watching the first episode of Season 5 last night and I don’t know why but it was kinda meh, no? I mean it wasn’t bad by any means, but other than the *EAR MUFFS*… wait… *EYE MUFFS* throat slit by the Eyes Wide Shut dude, what got you going? It felt like a middle of the season type episode; didn’t really explode out of the gates, BUT it is setting up a very intense line of dominoes: the dragons, Tyrion partnering with Daenerys, Sansa’s NEW HAIR COLOR!!!!11110000

Speaking of setups, HBO is FOUR SHORE setting us up to see dongs. There was the scene with Khaleesi with her lover where we got a nice butt shot, an Austin Powers-esque shot where his meat sword was blocked by the drink cart, then him climbing into bed and somehow not flashing his pole and beanbags. Plus, we got the knight of flower power Loras Tyrell and his lover making gay men and straight women everywhere spit out their wine and hump their screen. David Benioff and D.B. Weiss must be big CollegeHumor fans…

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