This video from Skootch Comedy is a hilarious homage to documentarian and PBS pimp Ken Burns. His most known documentaries are The Civil War (1990), Baseball (1994), Jazz (2001), The War (2007), The National Parks: America’s Best Idea (2009), Prohibition (2011), The Central Park Five (2012), and The Roosevelts (2014).
Though I haven’t seen any of his documentaries (major sin, I blame my educators), I’m familiar with his Civil War and Baseball works. I think I haven’t tackled any of ’em because the task seems daunting. Whenever I see the commercials for the 18-VHS Cassette box set, I’m like I got sh*t to do, I can’t be gettin’ bed sores. But now that I’m a boss-ass binge-watcher on streaming services, maybe I’ll hunker down with some Teets (read: Tito’s) and power through.
Bottom line, you might not have seen his films, but you know who the F he be.
Burns’ documentaries have been nominated for Academy Awards and have won Emmyss, among other honors like Favorite Documentarian as voted by my boss. Seriously, every week he tells me about how I need to “get Burns’d!” Yeah, sure, lemme just get some aloe vera first, mujer.
Future releases include:
Jackie Robinson (2015)
Vietnam (2016)
Country Music (2018)
Ernest Hemingway (2019)
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LYRICS:
Ken Burns, Ken Burns, Ken Burns, Ken Burns
Ken Burns, he direct
Ken Burns, an effect
Ken Burns, you respect
Ken Burns, break ya’ neck yaOW!
Cultural icon yeah we up in this spot
Bitches on both my arms bowl cut mutton chops
Ken Burns a legend better recognize a hero
Stacks of classic movies like Robert DeNiro
Documentaries focus on Americana
KB make his own style, Dolce & Gabanna
Bringin’ history to life while we zoomin’ in on pictures
Bitch check the zeitgeist, generation fixture
National treasure like the Grand Canyon
Belong on Mount Rushmore, president companion
DVR PBS so you could see what we see
Make Planet Earth look like chimps throwing feces
Boss of the doc game, Spurlock like an intern
You stuck in the hospital with third degree Ken Burns
Mark Twain, Prohibition, Jazz, and the Civil War
Walk in the club snap, zoom, panties hit the floor
No political spin on it this ain’t no Michael Moore
Got a film assembly line you can call him Henry Ford
Making old pictures mad fascinating
He could make a shoelace captivating
Check effects in iMovie man Ken Burns name a trope
He already won the race so you sit back and try to cope
Man there ain’t no subject that Ken ain’t burned
Master of his craft see what you can learn
Neal Lynch 