The Tyrannosaurus rex’s Legs Would’ve Snapped If It Ever Ran Says Science

Cartoon depiction of Bryce Dallas Howard in high heels running from a T. rex in Jurassic World. Image via Rebloggy.com

“New research suggests the dinosaur could go no faster than a very brisk walking pace.”

Source: Mighty T. rex ‘walked rather than sprinted’ – BBC News

Pretty big development out of the dino world. All these years. ALL these years, we thought the T. rex (not T. Rex) could run. Lo and behold, the “King of the Dinosaurs” was only capable of a “brisk walk”. When I read that, I can only imagine the T. rex hurrying to the bathroom, which is absurd because the world is your restroom, T. Piss whenever and wherever you so please.

Scientists at the University of Manchester conducted the research, which comprised of a computer simulation. It was previously thought the T. rex could had a top speed of 30 kilometers per hour (18.64 mph), but the simulation showed that tyrant lizard could only hit 20 kph (12.43 mph). To put that into perspective, the fastest human on Earth, Usain Bolt, almost hit 28 mph on his best day, but typically averages around 23 mph.

The research revealed that “T. rex was actually quite slow and therefore not a pursuit predator.”

Sick burn, dude. SICK burn. Although, if the T. rex isn’t about that chase, that means it was a pretty chill predator. It probably would just lay in the cut, set up booby traps like Kevin McCallister in Home Alone, wait to hear that “gotcha” bell ring then saunter out and saddle up for a five-course meal. I think I might have more respect for the King. Let them come to you, homey.

Dr Eric Snively, of the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, noted the T. rex ”are still beyond those of most fast human joggers or distance runners and would be rather frightening to behold”. He added, ”It might well have caught Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, had he stayed outside the Jeep and in the slippery mud.”

Gotcha. How about chasing Bryce Dallas Howard in a restrictive skirt and high heels? Could a T. rex briskly walk to catch her?

That scene is still the most outlandish moment in movie history. Howard defended it, saying “That’s what women can do“. There you have it. BDH in heels > Usain Bolt.