The New York Giants lost to the Carolina Panthers in Week 5 on a 63-yard game-winning field goal at the gun from Graham Gano and the refs are to blame.

Usually 31 points wins the game. Especially when you haven’t done it in forever times infinity. But not when you’re the New York Giants. Not when you stumble off the starters block for yet another season.

I’d suspect that most people wouldn’t be worried when an opposing kicker lines up for a 63-yarder to ice the game but those people haven’t watched Giants football recently.

Did I think a rookie kicker would nail a 60+ yarder to beat the Giants in 2017? No. Did I think a stone cold assassin kicker would smoke a 60+ yarder to send my team to 1-4? Kinda. Maybe if it were 2016 and the ball bounced our way, I’d say no way. But the ball hasn’t bounced our way since December 31st of ’16. Once the clock struck midnight and the ball stopped dropping, the ball continued to drop for the Giants.

And if history needs to be made, it’s a good chance it’ll happen against the Giants…

From NFL.com:

“Graham Gano’s 63-yard FG is tied for the longest game-winning field goal in NFL history. In Week 8, 1970, Tom Dempsey kicked a 63-yard field goal to give the Saints a 19-17 win over the Lions.”

If football is a game of momentum, the Giants have been fighting a losing battle since calendars turned to 2017. If 2017 was the year of unfortunate and untimely injuries, 2018 is the year of bad luck and bad calls. The team simply just can’t catch a break.

When you juuuuust miss connecting on a couple deep balls and drop a game-shifting INT in Week 1…

When the totally not corrupt referees for your games juuuust can’t seem to interpret the rules correctly for your games and keep their filthy lil paws off their precious yellow flags in back-to-back weeks…

When the booth doesn’t do their job and review a crucial “first down” with seconds left to play…

… well then it’s time to fully accept the universe is working against your squad and start making other plans for January 2019.

On to my game notes:

Odell throws a better deep ball than Eli. Can you imagine if Odell actually used proper mechanics? If he was able to set his feet and let it fly? On the touchdown toss, he just flicked it out there like it was a goal line fade. I really hope that’s not his only throw of the season. We might as well start running the wildcat at this point.

From NFL.com:

“Odell Beckham Jr. just became the first player in the Super Bowl era with 50+ yards and a TD passing and 130+ yards and a TD receiving.”

It’s a GODDAMN GUARANTEE any time the Giants come up with a huge score to get back into the game, the motherfucking kicker will kick the ensuing kickoff out of bounds. If there’s a play prop you can bet on, bet the farm on that happening.

My white hot scorcher of a love affair with Saquon Barkley has gone from Skinemax softcore to full-on quadruple X #NSFL status. And it might not ever be matched. He’s a walking, talking video game. Odell has done some crazy shit and Saquon keeps upping the ante. “Hold my beer? Nah, hold my jock”. Put it on a t-shirt. Back up the Brinks truck.

From NFL.com:

“Saquon Barkley is one of three players with 100+ scrimmage yards in their first 5 career games (Adrian Peterson & Kareem Hunt).”

Third and 13 with under 8 minutes to play in the third quarter, Eli takes a shot to Odell in the end zone and Beckham can’t bring it down. It was more of a great play by the Josh Norman wannabe to knock it loose than anything.

Cam Newton is unreal. You tend to forget how much of a beast he can be simply because he’s a QB. He’s like a more elusive Brandon Jacobs with a bazooka. He picked up way more yardage on runs than any other scrambler in the league should’ve. On one run in the 4th, he got hit at his own 38 and carried multiple grown men to the 46.

Curtis Riley with the big pick in Giants territory. I give Curtis a ton of heat each and every week and he finally stepped up to make a big play. I still think he’s a liability but at least he scored some non-redeemable brownie points. Of course, he also couldn’t stay inbounds on this fumble which led to Carolina points.

Eli Manning needs to retire. There, I said it. He’s no longer winning games. He hasn’t put the team on his back and won a game in a while. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say 2012. Was he “clutch” on the potential game-winning drive? Uh. Sure. I guess he had the bare minimum required to add to his lengthy resume. But, I’d rather hand that award to Saquon doing superhuman things than Manning.

Here’s an example of how Eli has regressed. On an early drive, Manning fakes run left, boots back right, he surveys and scans then throws it away. Meanwhile, Rhett Ellison is WIDE OPEN over the middle for a first down.

I’m not sure whether or not to place the blame on Eli for that pick in Panthers territory at the end of the 3rd. That INT was the result of going to the well too often. The RPO slant has been one of the rare successful plays but professional defenses, especially top units like Carolina’s, are going to catch on.

I didn’t get to see the personal foul penalty on Landon Collins live because I was driving back from a kid’s birthday party but I did hear the aftermath from Bob Papa and Carl Banks on WFAN and they were heated. Seeing the replay in the highlights, I have to ask, What the actual fuck did the Giants do to the refs to deserve this level of ineptitude?

Collins is clearly diving for the ball and not one of the zebras has the angle to see it? That was a third down-and-long on the Panthers side of the field with the Giants down 4 in the 4th. Instead, the flag extends the drive and Cam chucks to a wide open McCaffrey for the score a few plays later. That’s the game. Right there.

The roughing the passer penalties are comically out of hand. Carolina gets flagged for holding near their own end zone and it’s negated by a love tap by Kerry Wynn on Cam doing his best LeBron flop. The only way I see this trend stopping if QBs wear red pinnies.

The very next drive, Eli attempts one of the worst throws I’ve ever seen and that’s saying a lot when it comes to #10. For a bonafide Hall of Famer with 2 Super Bowl MVPs, he’s made some real head-scratchers over the years. My man does it so often, I think I’ve hit cerebellum. Down 27-16, Shepard is wide open towards the sideline, Manning lofts it up towards the hashmarks and it’s a cake takeaway.

Luckily for Eli, Cam comes back and tosses one of his own. Then the Giants do what every single person with a working brain has been begging them do all year long. Eli dropped back and launched a bomb to Odell. Touchdown. It’s really that easy. Break out the Staples button.

I have some breaking news: The Giants offense is good at converting two-pointers. I used to take a bathroom break any time Eli signaled for two in the past. Here comes a shotgun draw up the middle. Without fail. But if Shurmur’s done ANYTHING right, it’s calling successful 2-point plays.

I’ll never understand playing soft coverage when you’re only up by 1 with a minute left to play. LoS is the 25. Cam’s in deep shotgun, drops back even further and is able to effortlessly hit his receiver at 42 with Jenkins like 3 yards away.

But the play that will haunt my night terrors was the 3rd and 1 with :30 on the clock. From the shotgun, Newton hands to McCaffrey up the middle and is clearly stopped short of the first down by Ogletree. Contrary to logic, the refs automatically give Carolina the first down and the booth doesn’t review even though it’s a very important play and under 2 minutes in the game.

So, instead of it being 4th down and 1 with the clock tick-tick-tick-ticking and the Panthers field goal unit having to rush, it’s 1st and 10 and Cam can spike the ball. That gives Carolina’s field goal unit plenty of time to make themselves at home and crush the game-winner. Make no mistake, this L is on the refs.

Now that the Giants are 1-4 and the season is over, here are things I’d like to see:

• Eli catching touchdown passes from Odell and Saquon
• Odell and Saquon in the wildcat
• A trade involving Olivier Vernon
• A trade involving Nate Solder
• A trade involving Evan Engram
• Rhett Ellison getting double-digit targets per game
• Landon Collins getting touches on O
• The entire NFC imploding to secure a backdoor playoff berth

I really don’t want to look ahead to the upcoming slate of games but if you’re into sadomasochism, here y’are:

Home vs Eagles – normally I’d chalk this up as another violently diabolical close loss but Philly’s been an enigma so far so who knows. Giants will probably win and make everyone think there’s a chance.

At Falcons – Atlanta’s gonna rough roughshod.

Home vs ‘Skins – Either Washington blows us out or Alex Smith Alex Smiths us an ugly win.

At Niners – who knows, dude. I mean, Jimmy G’s donezo yet they’re competing the high-flying Chargers one week and getting trounced by the lowly Cards the next. We’ll prob show up flat af and get rolled.

At least this loss to the Panthers was “fun”. Only took my dreaded “unwatchable” call-out tweet in the first half to get their motor runnin’. Credit to me.