Giants Got Face-Luck’d by the Cold-Hearted Colts

The Giants lost in typical loser fashion to the Colts by 1 in Week 16. Here are my meaningless tots…

The Giants Twitter account posted this throwback video of Kerry Collins taking a flea-flicker and flicking it deep to Amani Toomer for a long-ass touchdown against the Colts in Indy in the pre-Christmas contest December 2002…

That got my goo gurglin’. That was when the offense CLICKED. Kerry. Tiki. Toomer. Shockey. Hilliard. That 2002 team came on strong towards the end of the season and the offense looked unstoppable as they steamrolled the Colts on their home turf. Had the defense decided to play a full 60 minutes against the Niners in that infamous Wild Card debacle, maybe the Giants would’ve made a legit run in the postseason. Still bitter.

The 2018 Giants offense sort of resembled that 2002 unit early on against the Colts. Got out to 14-0 lead. 2 TDs in 2 drives.

As a Negative Jim Nantz-y, I can’t help but point out an example of Eli not having the arm strength to win games anymore, friends. If #10 steps into this toss and gets like 5 more yards on the throw, it’s a touchdown. Instead, Shep has to wait for the ball and gets tackled inside the 10.

But, Neal, he heaved the ball 50+ yards. What more can you ask for? Hate to prick your pod, but I could throw a ball 50 yards in my prime. With a slight gust touched by an angel. Giants ended up scoring anyway so this is all moot.

Speaking of Shep. What a day, what a day. 6 catches on 7 targets, 113 yards but no touchdowns. Couple of these grabs were not easy.

Cocky much, Neal? Oh, much too much. 1:16pm. 16 minutes elapsed from kickoff. I stand by this tweet, though. Indoors, the Giants keep the score respectable against Tennessee instead of pooping out a goose egg.

You know the offense is feeling frisky when Shurmur dials up Eli’s number on the goal line.

Even with the Giants already eliminated from the playoffs, it’s hard to resist sizzling about a Giants win over a good team. And that tingly feeling percolated when Luck connected with Curtis Riley for a touchback.

Curtis Riley is a leech on my emotional capital because the books will show he had a bunch of INTs in 2018 but anyone whose eyeballs absorbed his play on the field each week can tell you he should be shooting the shit with players in plain clothes on the sidelines.

So, the Giants have the ball up 14 with a chance to get out to a commanding lead that would be a challenge for Lieutenant Neckbeard to overcome. And they go 3 and out.

Then TY Hilton gets hot…

Even up 17-7 at half, you could sense this was going down to the wire and it did. What would it take for the Giants to win? Odds are a shootout with Andrew Luck won’t end well. And sho’ nuff it didn’t.


Evan Engram has been putting together a nice lil’ highlight package over the past few weeks. 6 catches for 87 yards and two carries for 26 yards but no touchdowns, though he came up just short a couple times.

24-14 – still not comfortable

And that was that as far as my tweets twent. In my defense, I was operating at about 5% with some kind of cold-flu-plague hybrid that had me more lethargic than a Xanax-popping Jabba the Hutt after Thanksgiving dinner.

Big play on the ensuing Colts drive was O.V. getting the strip sack and BJ Hill recovering the fumble, but Janoris Jenkins gets called for a hold and Indy makes ’em pay.


Giants respond with a 12 play drive that results in a field goal. We have to lead the league in double-digit play drives that don’t end in 6.

27-21 – still not comfortable

Anyone who thought the league’s worst 4th quarter defense would actually stiffen up and stop Luck & Co. on Indy’s last drive hasn’t been completely corrupted like I have. It was to be expected. We were without Landon Collins. Without Alec Ogletree. BW Webb is an average-to-below-average cornerback. Olivier Vernon gets paid millions of dollars to get CLOSE to sacking the QB. We play soft zone coverage and let teams pick us apart.

And forget about Eli Manning leading game-winning drives. Everybody acts like the Giants have a shot when they’re down at the 2-minute warning and Eli at the helm. 2011-2012 Eli is probably winning the game for you. Post-2012 Eli probably isn’t.

It’s we Manning-face facts: Eli had the 1 game-winner to Shepard against the Niners this season. He threw a slant to Odell that Beckham took 60+ yards for the game-winning score against the Ravens in 2016. He had that game-winner to Donnell in 2015 against San Fran. That’s about it. Essentially 2 last-minute game-winning drives in six seasons.

I’m not mad. I’m still oddly optimistic. We were dying for the Giants offense to put up points and they finally are. But, it’s incomprehensible to have 3-and-outs. The O is 8th in the NFL in 3-and-outs per drive. It’s unthinkable to keep dumping the ball off around the line of scrimmage.

And the defense has this knack for falling apart when they’re needed most. It’s especially infuriating when they’re put in situation that typically have high success rates and somehow find a way to fail. Is it the scheme or the personnel? That’s the question we’ve been asking for the entire season and I’ve gone back and forth way too many times to count.

Up Next: The Cowboys…

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