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15 Basketball-Themed Porn Films Doug Christie & Wife Should Produce


According to NBC Sports’ “Off the Bench” via Business Insider, former NBA shooting guard Doug Christie is reportedly starting his own porn production company with his wife “Basketball Wives: LA” cast member Jackie. Off the top of my head the only other celebrity I know that’s produced porn is Snoop Dogg and that investment’s like a tax write-off for the Doggfather. So, it got me thinking about the first films Christie Inc will release. Here are my top guesses…

1 Night in Phoenix

Phoenix Marie plays a point guard who’s fallen from grace. She’s bricking shots, dominated in the paint (BDSM), and missing free throws. That is, until she meets a mysterious fan after the worst game of her career and goes one-on-one with him for a night she’ll never forget. Her performance on the court turns around, but her obsession with finding the fan almost derails her team’s path to the championship.

50 Shades of Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey plays an NBA dancer who falls in lust with the team’s bombastic owner, Dirk Rican, after a chance elevator encounter during a charity event. He initially rejects her awkward advances but eventually gives in and shows her his super secret sex dungeon, conveniently located under the court.

Cooters

A beleaguered has-been and his messed up assistant are thrust into coaching an undisciplined women’s college basketball squad after the team’s frustrated coach quits during halftime of the opening game. The new staff’s unusual tactics whip the girls into shape on their way to the conference title.

Coach Harder

A hard-nosed coach benches his most valuable player after she fails her Human Anatomy and Sexual Health courses, but tutors her one-on-one after practice to get her grades (and himself) up.

Glory Hole Road

A men’s basketball coach with the first all-black starting lineup is at his wit’s end when his team hits a major slump. Noticing their low morale and the unrelenting spirit of the cheerleading team, he installs glory holes in the locker room with mind-blowing results.

Lovelace & Basketball

Many know Linda Lovelace as the gifted actress in the most famous adult film of all-time “Deep Throat”, but few are aware of her abilities on the hardwood. This probing mockumentary delves deep into Linda’s love affair with roundball, from her numerous “pick up” games to her private sessions with Wilt The Stilt Chamberlain.

White Men Can’t Hump

A former college basketball player makes a living hustling streetball players who think he can’t make the hottest strippers in a local gentlemen’s club orgasm.

Space Docking Jam

Porn legend Kacey Jordan is set to retire from the industry that made her a star when cartoon creatures from outer space, known as the Hardf****, take over the bodies of other porn stars and threaten to completely destroy the adult film biz. With the help of lovable Hentai characters, Kacey battles the extraterrestrial villains in one final ho-down.

The Sexth Man

Two brothers accept scholarships to play ball at a D-1 school, but while one excels, the others rides the pine. When the “better” brother dies unexpectedly, the bench-warming brother is thrust into the starting lineup. His play, both on and off the court, improves thanks to his brother’s ghost. But how long can he take not being in control?

Above the Rimjob

A promising New York City prostitute attempts to make the jump to a high-end whorehouse madam but must deal with her former drug-dealing pimp and a fallen escort who now doles out HJs in the alley.

The Hair Down There

An agent in the porn biz needs to land the next big star or he’ll end up on the streets. While visiting his estranged brother, the agent catches him looking at a home-made amateur video of an African woman who happens to have a huge bush taking on a team of guys. He uses what he has left in his savings account to fly to Africa and recruit the talented young lady but must first convince her family to let her go.

Semi-Ho

Jackie Daniels plays a one hit wonder who manages to buy a semi-professional basketball team. When the powers-that-be announce the league will disband and only a handful of teams will transition to the WNBA, Jackie becomes desperate and trades for a former champion to pump some life into the team.

Cream Wolf

A sheltered college basketball player who’s spent the better part of his career on the bench discovers he has super human abilities after he loses his virginity.

She Got Came

A prison inmate convicted for smothering her husband with her vagina tries to convince her daughter, the top-ranked basketball prospect in the country, to play for the governor’s alma mater. But the daughter has to prove she’s tough enough to make her own decisions and to handle the load(s).

Shtoop Dreams

This mockumentary follows two college students in Chicago who hope to become contract girls with a major adult film studio.

Story via Off the Bench, Business Insider

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