I Absolutely LOATHE This Apple iPad Commercial [VIDEO]

These need to stop and they needed to stop 7 years ago. The twinkling of the piano, the multi-tasking, multi-ethnic super-parent who has it all, the pompous, pretentious narrator dramatically emphasizing every two f****** words. Just stop already. You honestly don’t even need to advertise anymore, Apple. Just put out a press release and a sign in front of your store and you’ll have flocks of fanatics chewing their arm off to add to their collection. “Colors. Are more vibrant. Words. Are pin sharp. Everything. Is more brilliant”. No. No it’s not. If you met this f***** in real life, you’d punch him after maybe the 5th word out of his overstated mouth.

And no, I don’t own an iPad. I know that’s like a death knell for anyone in the online community. I can hear people writing me off as I type. I just find it funny that these tolerant, open-minded progressive thinkers can’t possibly consort with someone who doesn’t own every Apple product in the catalog.

Why am I so bitter? I read a tweet from Real World Las Vegas cast member Heather in which she complained that instagram is now available for “lame” Android users. You know what’s lame? Falling for a dude who did gay for pay.