Atomik vodka is made from grains and water in Chernobyl’s “exclusion zone”

Researchers have created a radioactive-free vodka from resources in Chernobyl’s “exclusion zone”.

The vodka is called, “Atomik” and only one bottle has ever been produced. It’s also not for sale and you can’t pre-order it. That, my friends, is a little thing economists like to call “supply and demand”. The Chernobyl Spirit Company probably has bidders out the bunghole offering top ruble for a “roll in the hay”, which is my new way of saying “a shot of grain alcohol”.

“…it’s considered the first commercial product to come from the exclusion zone, the BBC reports.”

Unless you count HBO‘s ‘Chernobyl‘, which probably led more than a few consumers to subscribe to the premium channel? Honestly, I just brought that up so I could embed this video below. If you haven’t watched it yet, you should.

It doesn’t get much more exclusive than “the exclusion zone”. If Atomik takes off — which it will — and the area finally gets revitalized, this company should open an eco-friendly nightclub called “The Exclusion Zone” and have it be Twilight Zone themed, so ANYONE can get in and get VIP access but you have to pay a cover to leave and ugly dudes neg hot chicks and up is down, left is right, and bartenders accept graphite tips. That was low and I apologize. Hey, listen, I’m tired and it’s Friday.

“At least 75 percent of profits from future sales of ATOMIK will go to supporting local communities in affected areas and to wildlife conservation”

THAT is awesome. Poison (not the rock band, but the substance that causes death or harm to organisms) giving life. Atomik’s like the liquid version of Walter White, the anti-hero of spirits.

“As to how the vodka tasted, (Oleg) Nasvit (the first deputy head of Ukraine’s state agency for exclusion zone management) said, “I’d call this a high quality moonshine—it isn’t typical of a more highly purified vodka, but has the flavour of the grain from our original Ukrainian distillation methods—I like it.””

Yeah, I mean, no surprise here. Russians and Ukrainians have taste buds of steel. They could chug Exxon Mobil like it’s White Claw.

As for me, I’m on board. You roll up to the party with a bottle of Atomik and people know it’s ON.

I already know which song should be used for the commercial…