Angela Lansbury Lands Oscar Nomination

The Oscar nominations were announced this morning. A lot of people were upset that Matthew McConaughey got snubbed for his perf in “Magic Mike”. I haven’t seen the male version of “Showgirls” yet but I’ve heard good things – like Olivia Munn’s boobs make a cameo. Sexcellent. This year’s crop of nominated actresses are equally as sexcellent but none can compare to Angela Lansbury. If she doesn’t win, the Academy Awards will be forever tainted and they might not recover.

Here’s a rundown of the actual Oscar nominees for best actress in a leading role:

Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty) – I haven’t seen this yet but it’s on my list. Jess reminds me of a hybrid Julia Roberts / Bryce Dallas Howard. Those lips. That butt-chin. Add in the red hair and I wouldn’t mind her organizing a strike to take me down.

Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook) – Haven’t seen it. Mostly because it follows a family of Eagles fans. Yuck covered in ew. The lesson here is go on a LOT of meds and jog around in a garbage bag and you can hook up with my future ex-wife.

Emmanuelle Riva (Amour) – No clue

Quvenzhane Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild) – This has been on my radar for a while. Whatever happened to the last kid who won an Oscar? Whale Rider Girl? Oh… she’s all growns up.

Naomi Watts (The Impossible) – You know what’s impossible? Trying to make her look not hot. Boing. Haven’t seen this either. I’d actually prefer to see the movie about the model who broke her pelvis during this tsunami.